Let me explain this picture. So I was standing in this coffee shop on Sunset Bouldevard waiting for my order and this girl walks in. She is like 6 feet tall, and clearly a model. She is very attractive but has kind of a silly, socialite, stuck up demeanor. Let’s just say she knows how she looks. I make eye contact with her and gives me perhaps the most disgusted look I have ever received in my life. I mean, I know I have no chance with a girl like this, given the semi-permanent scarf hanging from my chin, (bear in mind, this was the morning when everyone said I looked homeless) but she looked at me like she wouldn’t talk to me even if i was handing out permission slips to make out with Brad Pitt. It bothered me a bit. We both know the scoop, you don’t need to be insulting. I got over it quickly though and sat down with my stuff. And there it was. Let me say first that I mean no perversion by this and that it was not ogling. But her butt crack was hanging out at least three inches. I laughed out loud, she looked over at me, and then I looked back at my screen as if I had read a funny e-mail forward, or something. I got one last gander, chuckled, then she got wise and took care of her “problem”. I know life’s not a competition, but I will say this. Anytime someone sees your butt crack, when you didn’t show it to them intentionally, you lose. It doesn’t matter how much more money you have than me, how many points on the 1-10 scale you are above me, or how many American Apparel ads you’ve appeared in, if you fail to cover your butt, you lose. I win.
